I slept in and then as I was jogging to the roundabout around the corner to get on the right street for the bus stop a swan dropped out of the sky.

This is true.

It was flying and then it just dropped down on the road and sat there looking around.

It landed just shy of the roundabout isle, poor thing and traffic kept swerving around it, traffic coming from all directions but it just sat there, didnt look hurt or anything, but it probably was.

I ran into the shop across from it and said

"Excuse me, but do you have a phone? theres a swan on the road, we should call someone to rescue it"

grumpy shop man:" There a phone box across the road"

Jo:"Do you understand me? Theres a swan on the road, you have to call someone"

GSM:"There a phone box across the road"

Jo:"No seriously, just call 192 and ask for the RSPCA, they'll come down"

GSM:"There is a phone box across the road, you call"

By this time he is standing near the shop door and he can see the swan, he is still pointing at the phone box.

I yell "This is fucking UNBELIEVABLE!"

I look in my purse, fuck no change!

I run to the other shop

"Look Im not trying to be funny or anything but there is a swan on the road, its just sitting there, its not dead but its not moving, people are swerving to not hit it, I think you should call someone"

Stupid shop girl:"Oh right, I'll do that"- and continues writing.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!

LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK!

I stood there for a while, other people were walking past, looking, peak morning traffic was trying not to run over the swan, just sitting there.

and I thought, fuck man, I hate to do it, but I have to go. I thought about running onto the road and trying to pick the thing up, but its the size of a dog, so I just had to hope someone else had their mobile and.......

So, by this time I am very late, Im bolting to the bus stop, get the bus, finally get to work and its like a stampede, all these people trying to get in there at once.

I think "What the hell is this? open day?! Get out of my way Im an hour late!"

I look in my jacket pocket, shit, I left my security pass at home, have to ring someone to come down and sign me in.

Finally I get upstairs and sit down at my desk there has been a bomb scare, that why there was a great surge of people all at once.

I tell everyone around the swan story, like a story all about human depravity, not caring about this swan.

and they all fucking laugh, bastards!

The guy who sits next to me says: "Tell it again, tell it again, tell Angus, its so fucking funny the way you tell things."

It reminds me of a conversation I had the other night, when I was telling someone about how I found out about the "Mum incident", I said that Dad rang me up and started the story all backwards, like he started with the hook and worked outwards.

and my friend said "Ah those K----'s they know how to tell a good story, start with the bang and continue.

But its not a story, its something that really pissed me off.

Just cant believe people sometimes.