Because it was organised by The Fucker, Angus and I boycotted it, also because was too far away and on a Thursday night, but on Wednesday The Fucker sent me a soppy email saying how we all get along now, so he would love me to come- and yeah I suppose he is acting almost human now.

Also, after starting to speak to Sharon again (due to pure neccesity, we work together yeah?) she told me that she would be leaving around 10- 10:30 because he Ex was picking her up and therefore she could give me a lift home.

So I changed my mind and decided I would just go for the dinner and one drink.

Why am I being such a kill joy you ask?

Um, because the people I work with (apart from Angus, Eugene, Sharon on the odd occaision, Ian sometimes and Janet and Jools) are total wankers.

Eugene was gonna go to the pub and watch the football, Angus boycotted, Sharon is Sharon, Janet wasnt going and Jools never goes to these things.

So I thought if there is any hassle involved whatsoever, then Im not going.

The hassle was getting there and getting home- problem solved, or so I thought.

And no, I wasnt dumb enough to trust Sharon's lift because I knew she would get off her face and decide to stay.

So G agreed to pick me up instead as long as I didnt call after 10:30pm.

I love this man!

By quarter to 10 I was begging for a reason to go home!

Poor man came and picked me up and then when we got home he still had about 3 hours work to do, so he sat up till about 1pm working and came to bed and set the alarm for 10 to 5. 10 to 5!!!!!

There havent been many Night Terrors this week. I think if he stays up late it gives him more piece of mind to know he's got his stuff finished than if he tries to sleep regardless.

I worry about him, I tip toe around and iron stuff and clean, I feel so useless.

I just want to do little things to help.

Do you know what a gift from Goddess it feels like when you come home late from work, totally knackered and someone makes you dinner?

All you have to do it sit there, you dont have to think or move or care, everything just appears in front of you.

I love that. He does that for me when I become a blank slate.

And Im gonna be that person for him too, dammit! Even if I suck at the domestic stuff.

I really hate everyone at the moment.

Im sorry all.

I think its a good sign though, it must mean Im premenstral when Im meant to be.

Thats a relief because I was beginning to see a connection between the self presented Most Outstanding Boobs award and the general feeling of queasiness Ive had for the last few weeks.

Ive got that zit in the same place as always too, that must be a good sign, whenever I see that same fucking zit on the corner of my chin, it warns me every month.

I hope, I hope.

and then I dont and then I do and then I dont.

ahhhhhh.

Sharon, can I say enough about her, she ended up going home with Ian again at 4pm, infront of all these other people we work with and now she's complaining about people "Talking".

Well fuck it, and this goes for many other things, if you dont like it, dont do it!

If you feel yourself bitching about the same things over and over, maybe it means something.

Maybe I should take my own bloody advice and get a new friggin' job.

This is gonna pass I promise.

Overtime tomorrow has been called off, so I can sleep all day!