However, the other day I watched a countdown on one of the music channels of the best 100 male musicians.

Obviously, there will be Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix and the thing that suprised me about it, apart from the fact that most people in the world are morons (as they voted Robbie Williams best male artist ever?!) was the fact that G had no idea that both Jimi and Jim both died at the age of 27.

As I was in a very bad and overly dramatic mood that day, I said to him:

"Look, right, they died at 27, and they both died with a body of work that anyone would be proud of for a whole lifetime- if you were to die tomorrow (pretty close that age) what would you say is you're biggest achievement?"

Its a very cruel rhetorical question.

A question that was mainly directed at myself, because I have achieved absolutely nothing in my life that I feel really proud of.

Ok so I passed High School and University under my own steam- so what, I moved to another country, big deal. The main thing I have done with my 26 years is participate in relationships.

Isnt that sad?

For a woman of this day and age who has the world at their feet, Ive spent most of my life crying over boys.

Everyone wants to be a star these days.

Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame. You disagree with me?

Do you check your stats too? Who's reading?

Not everyone can be a star, thats the fact of life. Im not going to be an Annie Leibovitz or Isabelle Allende as I would love to be, but.....

I just want to do something Im proud of.

I dont want to wake up in another 10 years and go,

"Well yeah, y'know, I just spent the last 10 years working, living hand to mouth, looking after G, he looked after me, we did some home improvements, went to the cinema on a Sunday night and that was about it really"

That is sooo not going to happen. So here it is, my contract with myself for the next year-

I Jo, hereby swear to achieve the following this year:

I will finally join the photographic society and spend at least one hour in the darkroom each week.

I will produce a short story I am proud of, doesnt matter if anyone else reads it as long as I like it.

I will get myself down to a weight I am happy with.

I will save £200 a month with a view to buying my own flat next year.

I will make at least one new friend who I have something in common with.

I will choose a destination I have always wanted to go to and I will spend whats left of my holidays after OZ there, regardless of whether its too expensive or not.

I will take the necessary steps to deciding what the fuck Im going to do with myself for the next 35 or so years.

I think that should do it for now.

Glad I got that outta my system.