Congratulations to me!

Im a sentamental soul and I never really see whats so fucking good about celebrating the end of another year- another year closer to death, yay!

But this year I finally realised "Girl, you got it the wrong way 'round"

Im so excited about this year Im bursting! This year is gonna be the one I turn around!

And you better fucking hold me to that.

So we went down to Alastairs folks country house in Dumfries. The folks werent there, obviously, but the house is fucking massive.

Alastair was the perfect host, he went out of his way to make all of us comfy and happy- he went to so much fucking trouble man!

So much food, so much drink- five bedroom house in the country getting trashed.

He motivated us to play games and just generally went out of his way to make it the best New year ever for all of us.

I was honestly surprised.

But...everytime the poor guy said a word is girlfriend Gayle totally barred up. What an absolute bitch.

It was mainly her friends there. Alastair was being the perfect host and she was positively evil in the most juvenile of all ways.

She refused to participate in anything, instead her and her best friend went into the kitchen and sat there all night and bitched until just before the bells when we were all in the lounge.

G, Me, Alastair, Gayles friend Fiona and another guy (cant remember name) had been playing a drinking game in the lounge using weak vodka and lemonade so we didnt write ourselves off.

Fiona, this tiny wee woman, also had two other drinks on the go- but she is an adult to thats her choice right?

Anyway needless to say (and like always) she got absolutely pished and fell asleep sitting up just before the bells.

Alastair was sitting opposite Fiona and Gayle was beside her.

Alastair lighly nugded Fiona with his foot to wake her up for the bells.

Somehow or other, Gayle interpreted this as Alastair "Playing footsies" with Fiona, and openly accused him of trying to fuck her friend.

That would be a bit of conversation stopper then.

G and I were the only couple (out of 3) that kissed and hugged on the New Year bells. All the other sour bitches cracked it for some ridiculous reason.

I went up to bed around 2 am (I know, I know but I had been up since 6am for work and besides the atmosphere had deteriorated).

G came to tuck me in and we lay and talked for a while about what we want to do this year.

Then Alastair ran in and said Gayle had gone missing.

I thought I was the only fuckhead in the world that had pulled that trick. And I was 17 at the time!

Y'know the one- when your not getting enough attention from your boyfriend, so you make a melancholy disappearance to see if he will worry about you and come looking for you.

I honestly never thought I would see a woman of 27 pull such stupid behaviour.

G jumped up and said he would go look for Gayle. The whole house jumped up to go look for her in the freezing cold.

I thought, ah fuck it, call her bluff, what an honestly stupid and selfish thing to do an New year.

I stayed in bed.

Y'know, Ive seen Alastair act quite questionably in the past, not least of which when he tried to get me to walk up that alleyway. But to be completely honest with you Im starting to see why. The poor guy cant do anything right. Everytime Gayle gets a drink in her she just tears strips off him, in front of everyone and ruins everyones night.

I was with him all the while he was in the lounge that night and I never saw anything that could me misconstrued, I just dont know what is wrong with the woman.

G and I had a good laugh and I didnt have a bad hangover in the morning.

Cool, happy 2003!