Same with Pete Townshend thing, if he does or doesn’t, the suggestion is bad enough because it taints the normal relationships that adults and kids have and I hate that.

Im not saying that these things should’nt be spoken about- to the contrary I think these things should always be talked about, but its just another reason why I hope that any bastard that harms a child should suffer an eternity of hell.

That reason is that it breeds suspicion over the normal things. I mean everyone has a nudie photo of themselves as a kid in the bath or running under the sprinklers in the garden etc, but I wonder how many parents think twice now over what other people would think of their kiddies running around in the nude, as little kids do. That’s what freaks me out- the loss of innocence of society, and the question of whether it was ever innocent in the first place or whether everything is just a façade over a rotten to the core world.

This is how everyone is effected by child abuse. Whether you suffered it first hand or know someone who did, or whether you just hold your kids at arms length or wrap them in cotton wool incase they hurt themselves or not let them out incase of bad things happening. Everyone suffers- the parent suffer the kids suffer, everyone suffers from this.

Ive felt this first hand in a couple of ways.

When my mum left when I was 12 my Dad brought up me up by himself, with the help of my grandparents. A common story. My Dad was my best friend, I looked up to him and despite having to work longs hours and the rest he was a good, and in many ways unconventional Dad. Some of our favourite things to do were to go second hand record shopping and go to the cinema and day trips to the country etc.

I always had lots of women around me, my “adoptive aunties” in Dads close female friends who are still referred to as my aunties to this day even though we aren’t related, and my Grandma and I was still in contact with my mum. But Dad was my rock.

However, as I got into my early teens Dad started to avoid being seen with me in public.

I was shattered. I mean I know its normal for teenage girls to want to get away from their parents altogether, I thought my Dad and I had a closer relationship than many other fathers and daughters and I couldn’t figure out what I had done to provoke this.

a little later I found out

One of the daughters of one of my aunties was getting married, I was about 14 at the time and Dad dropped me off at my other aunty’s place to get ready for the wedding. Being a bit of a tomboy, this was the first time I had really worn make-up, my aunty had a great time making me up and once she had finished with me I looked about 16 or so.

Anyway, we went to the wedding and I met up with Dad there and everyone had a great night, big Greek wedding with all the trimmings- it was cool.

Then when we were going to leave, one of my aunties said to my Dad

“Hey you’d better be careful when you’re driving home tonight, I wouldn’t be surprised if you got some strange looks or even pulled over because you don’t look alike at all. You look like a young girl with an older man, not father and daughter”

And then it all made sense.

We couldn’t be seen together in the same way anymore because I was looking older and Dad was a young Dad and we don’t look enough alike. It looked seedy.

I can see why people would be concerned and I can see how a bit of concern is better that turning a blind eye to something that might really be going on- better to be safe than sorry right? If you see something that doesn’t look right you should say something.

But I was shattered. We had a really normal relationship and I felt rejected by the one parent I had left, all because of what people might think.

Because of what other people have done.

Sometime prior to this, I had suffered some real abuse from someone else that I don’t wish to talk about, but I can honestly say that the shadow cast over my relationship with my father hurt me more than the real abuse I suffered.

What’s the answer? I dunno.

I know that my feelings probably wont be shared by many, I’m just telling my story.

However, I think we all agree that anyone who hurts a child should face eternal damnation, not just for the ones they hurt directly, but for all of us who suffer from the shadow cast by it.