Today Im going to go and find a nice notebook to write in while Im on public transport, to make use of my time remembering all the feelings Im having whilst being here.

Funny how everyone is the same but different.

Why are all the boys here so skinny? Were they always that way? Marcs jeans hang off him - he has that amazing boy triangle shape with the big shoulders tapering down to the little waist, but I just want to give a big meal and tell him how beautiful he is.

I was out with DM the other night, I might elaborate on that later when I figured out what I want to say about it. We were walking in the wind and I could see his ribs through his t-shirt, I just had to tickle them.

That was a good night actually, I only felt uncomfortable when we bumped in to some of DM's friends at a club that we moved on to and one of them quizzed me about what G thinks about me being here.

I wasnt sure if he meant the club or Melbourne in general, I said he didnt mind which ever was being talked about and that he just wants me to have a good time and be happy.

I felt like saying "Look nothing is happening here, its not what you think"

I wondered whether I was being paranoid or what.

When I say nothing is happening that isnt strictly true, something is happening:

DM and I are successfully learning how to have a platonic relationship.

We're finally figuring out how to act appropriately around each other. We know now how to be friends- friends that once loved each other and still do, but friends who have too much respect for themselves and others to cross any sort of boundary that is set.

I went home feeling like the luckiest girl in the world, missing my G, but feeling happy just the same because I have back everyone I love, in the right and appropriate way.