Work is killing me!

I think my managers forget that we work in an open plan office- unfortunately I sit near by with my back to them and I can hear all their bitchy comments.

The work load is completely riddiculous, they keep piling things on me, promising that they will find someone else for some of my other tasks, but they never do it, so Im stuck doing the work of 2 people- I hate it and Im just not coping well with the false smiles for everyone.

Home is not good either. Mainly just for the size of the place.

For anyone who had the misfortune to come over to the rancid "Northcote house", well our lounge/kitchen as about the size of my bedroom in that place! Our bedroom is so small that the bed can only be put in one position- against the wall- otherwise you cant close the door and because it rains all the time, you cant dry your clothes outside so all the floor space is taken up by clothes horses with wet clothes.

And our flat is actually one of the larger ones we looked at.

This used to bother me a little- but not as much as it does now.

I think its because of the strain Im under at work- when I come home I just want some time, a chill out period. but because the lounge and kitchen are the same room, there is constant noise. Even the kettle boiling drowns out the TV. G fidgets constantly- he cant just sit and its driving me insane.

The bedroom is where I go to chuck a hissy fit- so I cant just walk casually in there to get a break, infact I cant just leave to room at all without it looking suspcious and hurting G's feelings, so I feel like a rat in a trap.

I dont know why I didnt feel this way before- I suppose its because I didnt think I had a choice so I just adapted, but now I know I can choose, thats the bad thing.

I have to admit as soon as I got back here from my visit home, I knew that it was going to be very difficult to settle in again. Even driving back from the airport made my heart sink because the place looks like toy town compared to home, everything is so crowded- double parking, garbage on the street, no trees.

I wondered what I saw in the place.

Then when we got to the flat I looked around and thought "I live here? how do two people live in this place?". It just looked tiny.

G had to go back to work after dropping me off at home and as soon as the door closed I sat down and cried because I missed you so much and everything else- its really fucking stupid.

Ever since then I havent been able to make anything the same as it was before.

So theres the honest truth, it really sucks.