Its so pathetic, my relationship with money.

Every single cent or penny has to come from either blood, sweat or tears for me.

Unsolicited gifts totally freak me out.

I was like this the first time a man bought me some flowers too, or a birthday present, when my folks fixed my car for me...... and all the other times I've been subject to random acts of kindness.

Today after work Coops and I went to find a birthday present for Angus.

While we were at it I tried to give Coops the money for the Kill Bill ticket he bought me for tomorrow.

He wouldnt take it.

I had to force him.

Then I get home and there is an envelope on the mat with just a plain "Jo" on it.

I dont know why but I got the feeling maybe it was from home- pretty silly considering it had no address on it.

Anyway, I open it and its from G, who left this morning to go to Sweden for the weekend with some friends.

It has a slip of paper inside attached to £150 pounds!

It reads:

"Jo, I want you to buy lots of clothes at the weekend, you deserve it and I want you to spend every last penny (think of it as an early birthday present). I will send you a text when I get to Sweden. Have a good weekend. Luv G"

The note sounds incredibly shady, however since Im about 3 sizes smaller than the last time I shopped for clothes, Ive been whinging for weeks about needing stuff and not having the money.

I wasnt hinting, I was venting.

I read it and burst into tears.

Then I check my phone- txt from my brother.

It reads:

"MP3 player is sent tomorrow, should arrive Tuesday *Hugz*"

When he was here he got the idea that he would buy me a new mp3 player because he missed the last 3 birthdays and because he has downloaded all his music onto my laptop.

I said it really wasnt necessary to get me anything, having him here is present enough.

I feel so shady.