Although I sound cynical to everyone Im actually looking forward to the Christmas thing and Im going to miss G's family christmas experience when I go.

All except for midnight mass, because their church is like a bomb shelter on the inside, with modern "spotlight" type lighting. We're always late because N is stuffing around and they insist we walk to the church, despite being sub zero outside and quite possibly snowing.

I hate singing carols etc under lights and Im not a fan of kneeling down on the floor many times, and Im not a fan of churches where women cant be priests, as is the catholic way. But they like us to go- so we do, and dont whinge.

Then for the few days after we get constant excellent food and drink, none of which we have to prepare ourselves and tons of presents.

Actually the tons of presents thing kinda grates on me aswell. When G told me how much he planned to spend on everyone this year I almost passed out. I feel kinda embarrassed when I get all this nice stuff from folks just because the whole thing has turned into a frenzy.

G insists that him mum really enjoys getting us things we like, especially picking out books for me that I might like since the rest of the family doesnt really read much.

We havent told them that Im leaving next year yet and I wasnt sure if I should really be spending Christmas with them, I felt kinda like I was betraying them or something.

G told me I was being stupid, so off to Glasgow we go on Christmas eve.

In other news, I started taking my BP pills last week and Im not feeling too great. My BP has dropped from around 130/80 to 116/70, which was the whole point, but my body seems to be rebelling by telling me that I want to sleep all the time.

Yesterday someone came up to my desk and did the whole "Are you ok?" thing.

Two of G's cousins are doctors so I might ask about it, stupid ill health.

On that note Merry Christmas, hope you get lots of well thought-out gifts and eat lots of food thats really bad for you.

Luv Jo