The weekend was pretty hardcore, even though it probably wont seem like it in print.

Thursday G had an awards ceremony- I know sounds exciting but its the building trade, not the Oscars, so yeah, probably wasnt too interesting to laypeople or whatever. As we had to attend his cousins wedding in Cheshire on Saturday I took Thursday and Friday off and we both went to Leeds for the ceremony, despite the fact that I wasnt invited.

I hung around Leeds and stayed in the swanky hotel on the company tab. I shopped in Leeds Thursday evening then went back to the hotel room and watched lots of cable and painted my toenails. Well, what else do you do in swanky hotel rooms alone?

G came in about twelve- ish and was more than a little tipsy.

Friday I needed to shop some more for accessories to my wedding outfit, then we went to Cheshire to await the Saturday event.

We were staying in a hotel with G's parents and assorted other old folk.

Honestly, Im such an easily irritated bitch I know, but these people drive me crazy. We arrived at 4 ish and were meeting for dinner at about 7 ish, during this time G's mum knocked on the door for random reasons about 10 times. Then we had dinner and banal conversation before going back to the hotel.

In the morning we had to be up early for brekky, we dutifully followed then we had to meet for lunch for some reason, then off to the wedding in a mini bus that played cheesy wedding type songs at full blast.

G's mum stressed a lot and both parents chased each other round "Looking" for each other over and over.

The ceremony was nice, considering I dont know these people, then on the to reception.

That was also cool, except G's dad made me dance to the Bay City Rollers or something equally as crap, to the worst (honestly) band I have ever heard.

But hey, not my wedding, why care.

Sunday was ace because we went to visit my aunty in the wee village that my family is from which is on the border with Wales. We had lunch and I visited my Great Grandads grave for the last time and took photos of the places where my Nan used to play as a child, which Im sure she'll like. One of the places she used to go as a kid is one of my most favourite places in the world. You walk down a little lane through some fields and then there is a lookout across all the neighboring farms. I spent many an hour sitting there thinking and relaxing, listening to Dead Can Dance when I first went to stay there.

I love that place.

I was a bit pissed off though because I felt hurried as we promised we would visit N on the way home.

Fuck, I thought, how many hours have I spent in the last four years spending time with your family? Weeks and weeks of it, you could give me a few more hours considering Im probably never going be here ever again. But I got some nice photos, so I guess that'll do.

As it happened the journey back took longer than expected so we didnt end up seeing N which was kinda good because I'd had more than enough by that stage.

Its not Gs fault that I dont want to be here, but spending whole weekends doing things I dont want to do still turns me into a moody cow. Cant help it.

I wish I could be someones secret girlfriend so I wouldnt have to participate in family things. Sounds bad I know, but I hate it and Im finding it more and more difficult to keep up the pretense.