The metalfest was amazing. A true study in the art of wankerdom.

The day started with the hot finnish boys. The sound was purely awful and what I could hear was drowned out by the teenagers screeming behind me.

Embarrisingly, my obsession deepend when I decided to queue up at their signing with the rest of the girlies, for um...like....two hours, just to get to the door and be told that they are now leaving and we will not be getting to meet them.

Maybe that was a good thing. Honestly, could I be more embarrassing?

Next up was Korn, which I enjoyed, again. No sparkly adidas this time though (remember Marc?).

Metallica headlined, they were absolutely amazing!!! They played mostly old songs which rocked my world.

The bus journey home was totally uncomfortable and tiresome and I got home at 2am to sleep a bit and get ready for day two.

Day two was a classic. I swear to god, there is something in the water here that makes everyone look like they've been beaten repeatedly with the ugly stick. Word of the day was "Stretchmarks" as every overweight girl in town was displaying them in low cut jeans and high cut tops.

I realise I sound like the utter bitch from hell. I mean until my recent rapid shrinkage, I was a little on the wobbly side- but seriously Ive never seen anything quite like it. And the boys? Acne central, poor lads.

Maybe Im just bitter because when I went to buy beer I was the only person there not to get carded. That hurt.

Anyway, the day started with the awesome Machine Head. Definately the best band of the day, if not the whole festival, pity they were first on for a measly 30 minutes.

The setlist order for this thing was honestly written by morons. I mean first up Machine Head, next The Distillers, followed by Iggy and the Stooges.... then wait for it The Lostprophets (can you spell anti-climax?) and Linkin Park.

I was truly embarrassed to be part of this thing, especially when Iggy took the stage. Infact, most of the kiddies there seemed more interested at looking at stupid teenage boys rolling in the mud that the undisputed king of ROCK. This was to the point of Iggy playing the same song twice (I wanna be your dog) without anyone noticing except me. Plus: no Seach and Destroy!!! What the fuck????? If it werent for Iggy furiously mooning and spitting on the little fuckers I would have been really disappointed.

The Lostprophets, what can I say? Blah.

The kiddies seemed to love them though. Blah.

Linkin Park were actually good. Chester: unfortunate name- good voice.

Another painfull bus journey home at it was all over.

I got to see Iggy, I almost slobbered over the hot finnish boys, I laughed at the hideous Glasweigan teenagers. All in all a pretty good couple of days.